a letter - by Reece Turner

Hello there friends! I am beyond excited to share this amazing post from my dear friend Reece! It's such a beautiful, raw and relatable piece! Reece is one of my favorite writers and I would adore it if you would subscribe to her newsletter where she shares all sorts of fun content about life, faith, her writing, books and all of those great things!

Now without further ado, I present to you - 

a letter
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You know, it’s hard. 
It's hard to look around and see everyone living happily ever after. It’s hard to be left wondering why— why doesn’t anyone ever seem to notice me? People growing up, moving away, moving on. People I’ve spent my life with. People I've grown up with. People I never imagined would leave me.
I'm happy for them, I am. I’m happy to see them having the time of their lives. I'm happy to see them in love. I’m happy to see them achieving their childhood dreams. I'm happy to see them enjoying all the things that are just, to me, a wishful fantasy. 
It hurts, but I've learned to live with the pain.
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Sometimes, I catch glimpses of it— the life I wish to live. 
I see it in the people around me. I see it every time I step outside. I see it in every window and reflection and picture. I even see it in myself, for just a moment– before it disappears as quickly as it came. Like the time we rode with the windows down, blasting Taylor Swift, and driving those winding backroads. Like the time we stayed up late, drank energy drinks at midnight, and watched that reality TV show. Like the time I cut my hair, looked in the mirror, and pictured the coming summer in all its grandeur. It almost feels like I’m dreaming— living a fairytale for a moment, then waking up to reality. 
It's like a slap to the face.
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It’s hard, and I often wonder— why does it always happen to me? Why is it always me who feels like I never really belong? Why is it always me who never gets the happy ending? Why does everyone else seem so happy, when I just feel lost and confused? Why do my dreams never come true? 
I know. 
I know you’ll say that it’s all a part of God’s plan. 
But, why? Why does it have to be so hard? 
I've been waiting for so long— waiting and hoping and praying. Trying to be as patient as I can humanly be. And even then, sometimes, all the waiting feels pointless. Sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes I don't believe that everything will be okay in the end. 
And it is so hard to feel that way.
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I have hope, though. I really do. It’s just hard to hold onto it, sometimes, when life drags me down. When I start to feel like nothing good ever happens. When I start to compare my life to the perfect lives of people I see. When I start to wish away the here and now. When I start to question and doubt and fear.
And every time that happens, I have to step back— recalling to memory the good things that happen every day. The good things that make my life wonderful. The good things that make me smile. The good things that God blesses me with, over and over again.
For example, the sunset was beautiful tonight— painting the sky pink, purple, and orange. For example, my family is together, and safe, and loves the Lord with all their heart. For example, I have friends that treasure me and care about me. For example, my anxiety has been leaving me alone. For example, true love exists— and not only in fairytales. 
For example, aren't I blessed?
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At the end of the day— yes. Life is hard. Life hurts. Life even sucks, sometimes.
However, I can live in peace, because I know God has a beautiful plan for my life. I know that I have a future to look forward to. I know that good things are coming. I know I am found, treasured, and adored— by my lovely Father, family, and friends. 
And I know that through it all, I'm not alone. I never have been. I never will be.
Yes, it is hard— now. But one day, the waiting will pay off.
Just you wait and see.
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“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

​Reece Turner

Reece is a beloved daughter of the King with a passion for storytelling, old books, and rainy afternoons. You can find out more about her on her biweekly email list.