Let's Just Talk

I was really struggling to write this week's blog post. And I mean really struggling. As a writer I am very familiar with writers block, and as a blogger and content creator creative block is no stranger to me. I know the tricks of how to push through a creative rut and how to write a blog post anywhere I am. But for some reason I just couldn’t write my blog post. ​

I get stuck in a rut of perfectionism. My words have to be profound, I have to get a certain quota of comments for a post to be a success. 
    
I am afraid of being lazy or not productive. That if I don’t have my posts planned a month in advance, and if I don’t stick to a rigid schedule and if I’m not working on my laptop by 11am I am failing. 
    
I know I’m not the only one who gets this way. I know people in all different walks of life who get stuck being a workaholic, a perfectionist. It’s like we think our value is defined by the quantity or quality of work we do. 
    
But news flash, it’s not. I’ve talked about it many times on the blog, but that’s because I need to hear it so much. Your value is in Christ, if you are living to satisfy people you will never be happy. I often work myself up into such a state about not uploading a blog post or a youtube video that I imagine every one of my subscribers leaving. If you are this way too, know that if you are always trying to please people you will always be exhausted. 
    
When I started this blog I was also getting ready to staff my first ever class with TeenPact Leadership Schools and I remember telling God that if I was able to impact one person then it would all be worth it.

At some point during that TeenPact (and blog launch) season I heard someone say, “what if you only change or impact one life, would you be okay with that?” And of course I was, but then they added, “What if that one person was you?” Oof. I struggled for a while with that question. Would I be okay with working hard and spinning my wheels if the only person changed was me? I have come to believe that yes, if I am the only person changed then that is worth it. God can bring situations and people into your life just to grow and change you as an individual. This perspective changes the way I work.

If what I do has the power to change lives, including mine, then isn’t it better if I take care of myself and how I work? Shouldn’t I take the time to make sure I am creating at my best for you and for me? Doesn’t it make it worth it to let go of my fear of failure? Maybe failing isn’t failing at all. Maybe it’s character development. Maybe we both should just take a step back and view our work through a new lens.
  
 So what is this all about? It’s a little vulnerable view into the writer's life. Hopefully it encourages you to step back and slow down a little bit. I’m sorry that this post was a little all over the place, but I will be back on Christmas Eve with a (hopefully) eloquent and fun Christmas post.

Belle Thomas

Belle is the writer and dreamer behind An Old Fashioned Girl. She is passionate about reminding girls of their identity in Christ, classic books, history, Louisa May Alcott, and earl grey tea. ​​